Two Months Later…

Life has been crazy busy this year, which is why I haven’t posted in two months. I haven’t read any more books or done anything the least bit interesting. All I’ve been doing is student teaching.

Student teaching is alright. I’ve been dealing with non-stop talking, pregnant 15-year-olds, suspensions, expulsions, defiance, snot-nosed attitudes, and 118 extremely unmotivated students. I’m really starting to second guess my decision to teach.

Most days I dread going to school. I hate having to tell students to stop talking every 10 minutes. I hate having to put up with their shitty/bitchy attitudes. I hate being exposed to teacher gossip. I hate being called mean all of the time because I expect them to pay attention and work.

I do like some parts. I enjoy getting to know some of the students. I enjoy planning lessons, even though they’re unappreciated.

I’m graduating in May, which means I’m applying for jobs now. It’s hard to motivate myself to do so when every other week I cry because I don’t even know if this is what I want to do. Everyone tells me to get through two years of teaching before I decide, but I’d rather not be miserable for two years.

I don’t know what else I’d do though.

Something else that isn’t making things any easier is my boyfriend. He also graduates in May and has no clue what he’s doing. I’ve tried talking to him about places he would consider moving to, so I can apply to certain districts: he refuses to talk about it. It makes me feel like he doesn’t give a crap, and I’m starting to realize that we’re going to be doing the long distance thing, which I could handle but there is not even a hint at a time table for the situation.

I was excited to be growing up and entering the adult world, but now…not so much.

5 thoughts on “Two Months Later…

  1. My boyfriend really disliked being forced to talk about life after uni. I think it might be kind of a guy thing. He found the subject depressing and didn’t want to talk about it so he’d refuse to say much on the subject. It can be difficult to plan for that kind of stuff before something starts to solidify as well, because there are so many variables. We still don’t really have a plan. He moved five hours away for work and I’m still looking for something but I haven’t limited myself to a particular city because the job market is so difficult. If your boyfriend is so resistant about talking over the issue, the best thing might be to apply for the districts and then see what happens and if you get one talk about it then? It’s hard. I hope things work out for you both though.

    I know I’ve experienced a fair bit of pre and post graduation blues over the past few months, it’s pretty scary finally finishing your education. I think it’s true you should give being a teacher a bit more of a chance before deciding against it, but I’m sure you’ll work out whether its for you or not. šŸ™‚

    1. Thanks for the advice, Dom! He actually brought up the topic last night, and we had a nice talk. I’m going to work at not having to have a definite plan so far in advance to help take some of the pressure off of the situation. It’s definitely going to be a struggle for me, but I’m sure it will be worth it.

  2. Graduating and growing up can be scary. That’s why I immediately went back to school after undergrad. And it’s much harder for you because of the economy – it makes planning a life with someone else difficult because you both have to work. But it will all work out – it always does.

    And my husband has had a much different experience as a full-time teacher than he did as a student teacher or sub. You still have to deal with all the things you listed, but you have more control and it makes things easier. I would say that if you’re looking for better students though, cross Florida off your list of places to move to. šŸ˜›

    Good luck with everything.

    1. Thanks, Michelle! I’ve considered continuing my education, but I’m holding off for awhile since I’m not sure what I’d like to get my masters in.

      I’m hoping if I can find a job at a smaller school I’ll be able to handle things better being I went to a small high school (100 students vs. 1,600 students at my student teaching location). I’m sure things will work out: I’ve just been freaking out a lot lately. But I’ll still remember to keep Florida off my list. =)

  3. When I was nearing the end of my Master’s in Library Science, I was interning in a library where most people just saw me as a person to fill the reference desk schedule, and only a few were willing to answer questions. The library where I currently work is completely different, and my coworkers are all wonderful and helpful. Hopefully you can find a smaller school where you can get a better experience with the students. It’s also different when you actually work somewhere instead of being a student worker. I get more respect now. I wish you the best of luck!

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